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As the snow slowly creeps down the mountains and a few flakes fall from the sky, I find my self saying “I WANT SNOW!”
Me? Want snow? Down here?
I used to be of the mind that snow belonged on the mountain where I had a board, not a car.. But this year is different; My initial thought was for more snow!
Sure it would be a pain, as I live on a bit of a mountain, drive a versa, and when it warms up it turns into that gross brown slush, but I can not tell you the amount of money I would pay to see LJ really play in the snow for the first time.

January 4th is LJ’s next MRI and, as per usual, I’m having a bit of a freak out.
She just said ow..
It’s the tumor.
She’s hungry,
it’s the tumor,
She woke up in the middle of the night,
it’s the tumor.
Temper tantrum
Tumor.
Won’t eat anything without ketchup.
Tumor..
Clearly, the tumor is most likely not responsible for the majority of those.
So maybe my desperation for snow is a way of distracting my mind, maybe it’s my rational side saying it could be the last chance, or maybe I’ve lost my marbles and its nothing more than I want snow.
My marbles were definitely gone long ago, so it can’t be that.
what’s left to linger in my head is that this could be her last chance.
The 5 year Progression-Free survival rate is 19%, and that is with a high percentage resection, chemotherapy and radiation.
Now, don’t start thinking that I put much into percentages or statistics as LJ has written her own book, but that doesn’t mean I’m not 100% realistic.
Every year will be the same I think, every year will be treated as if it could be her last.
Especially in the wake of the Sandy Hook Elementary School tragedy,
I ask all of you to share love, share peace, and share hope.
Smile at strangers (normally.. Not too much teeth-that’s creepy)
Say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays every chance you get and Say I love you (when appropriate..).
Make the world around you a little brighter, because you never know who you will come across that may not have another Christmas. Or if you, yourself, will.
It sounds super morbid, but it makes me feel the opposite.
If we have the mindset that we want to leave a genuinely good impression on everyone around us, for no other reason than to make them happy, don’t you think our holiday season will also be a little brighter? Don’t you think you’ll walk into your home and hug your kids a little harder? Tell your spouse you love them with a little more passion? Let your friends and family know how much you appreciate them?

The Magic that we used to feel on Christmas morning, I still feel to this day and if saying Merry christmas to a stranger, volunteering at a salvation army kettle, or donating time or food to the food bank can make a little bit of that magic rub off on someone who has lost that feeling then what do we have to lose?

You wonderful people have given us the kind of love that we ALL need to extend this holiday season, and year round, so THANK YOU, for showing us true selfless compassion and generosity,
And may this holiday season be brighter, full of more love, food (hopefully wine) family and friends than the last..

We wish you all a very Merry Christmas, from Lilee-Jean and her family,
With love, and magic
ChelseyJean xo

You can see miracles everywhere and in everything.. All you have to do is open your eyes.

Note: I wrote this before bed last night and woke up to SNOW this morning.