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Thank you all so much for your prayers, good wishes and support. It is so beautiful to see how loved this little girl is.

“A Place Between Heaven and Earth”

The air is crisp and calm, the sky clear and endless, like
it always is after a storm. I am thankful Lilee is asleep, not in
any pain. I am thankful she wakes up from time to time, to eat her
favourite things or to tell us she loves us. I’m thankful for the
“dancing in the rain” photos, comments and videos our communities
have sent us. And I’m so very thankful for this House and the
amazing people in it. But I am sad. I am exhausted. My heart is
aching with an indescribable pain. Each night we have been here, I
have fallen asleep with my bed pushed up against Lilee’s as close
as it will go, holding her hand. Any movement, any sound, my eyes
fly open and my hand is on her heart. Up. And down. Up. And down. I
feel her chest move. Thump thump. Thump thump. I feel her heart
beat. The panic subsides, I place her hand back in my hand and I
try to get some sleep. Each night is increasingly worse, knowing
its one day closer, but never knowing how close. Thursday night,
after a day FULL of dancing in the rain by all the people sending
their love to us, thunder and lightening filled our room. Sheets of
rain came steadily down from the open sky and I couldn’t breath.
How poetic, I thought, if she passed tonight. How true to our
story, if the rain storm took her away with it. My brother and
sister in law were the last of the immediate family to see Lilee,
and they were en route from Edmonton as this end of summer storm
raged on. Since we have been here, well.. Since we have noticed
Lilee declining, I have made sure Lilee knew that I was okay. I
have made sure she knew that when SHE wanted to go, when she was
ready, that I would be there and that I would be okay. It was
important for me to make sure that she never held on because she
felt like I needed her to. But last night, through thunder and
lightening I asked Lilee to hold on. I asked her to wait for her
uncle and Aunty to come give her a kiss. I was so afraid and so
panicked that it was her night to go, and they hadn’t gotten to say
goodbye that I sat up in my bed and waited. My heart beating out of
my chest. My breaths short and shallow. 12:30am, The minute her
Aunty and uncle left after giving her a kiss, I laid my head on my
pillow, my eyes began to close as my heart beat softened and my
mind calmed. I finally fell asleep. I am not ready to say goodbye
to my daughter. To my world. But I never will be. I am in the
process of accepting that I don’t have a say, and that in not
accepting it I will rob both Lilee and myself of time I could spend
soaking her up. Taking her into every cell in my body. I am calm.
And I am at peace. She has no pain, and we have had our time. I
have given her the peace of mind to go when she needs to, that she
will never be alone and that Mommy and Daddy will be fine. I am
holding on to every moment, as tightly as I hold onto every tear
behind my eyes. I am taking in every syllable of every word, and
staring into her eyes for as long as they are open. Piece by piece
I am absorbing her essence deep into my soul where it can not
escape, where I can keep it safe until the end of time. We are in
the house that will transition Lilee from earth to heaven. That
will transition me from being a mother of a toddler to a woman with
a broken heart and soul.

I am the calm before the storm.

Chelsey.

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  1. TracyTracy08-31-2013

    Hi Chelsea,
    I do not know your family, nor have I met your daughter. I do work as an emergency RN and I am the mother of 2 young boys myself. I cannot imagine the pain that you must be experiencing, and I have no words of comfort to give you. I don’t know what you say to a mother that is going to lose her child, a mother who has done everything amazingly possible to make her daughters life fulfilling and meaningful. You have touched the lives of so many people, who are all here to support you and send you the love and comfort you will need for the rest of your life. You are about to face your most horrible fear, and it is going to literally rip your insides out and cause you to question everything about the world. I have seen this happen many times in my job, and I have no words to make the blow lessen. All I can say is take comfort in knowing that your daughter will no longer be suffering, they has to be a wonderful special place in heaven for children just like her. I do not know how you will get through this time, the days that will pass after she is gone, how you begin to even learn to breathe again. I just wanted to let you know that so many people are praying for you and sending love your way. You are inspiring and wonderful and Lilee is so lucky that you are her mom. xo

  2. Kim BellamyKim Bellamy08-31-2013

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. No parent should ever have to go through what you are. I learned about your daughter through Fitzy on NOW radio. He talks about her and you guys so much I feel like I know you. I am so glad LJ was able to come to Edmonton and have her princess party and Fitzy got to meet an incredible little girl you are so lucky to have been blessed with.
    Thank you so much for sharing her incredible journey and the love you two have for your daughter.
    Again thank you for sharing your journey with us.

    Kim

  3. menardy12menardy1208-31-2013

    Beautifully written Chelsey, I am glad to hear Lilee is not in pain. You are SO strong standing by your little girl, and you will continue to be. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  4. Sheryl MinielySheryl Miniely08-31-2013

    May your little angel’s earning of her wings be peaceful
    and may every moment of her being, soothe your broken heart and
    soul!! My heart pours out to you and your family! I weep tears for
    you and give you strength to help you through!

  5. Sandi MarbachSandi Marbach08-31-2013

    You are a woman of incredible strength Chelsey. I so admire you. Countless people have become part of your extended family, all of us are crying with every word you write, all of us want to take away your pain and the inevitable outcome of your story. So thank you, for sharing your life, for allowing an unseen public to be part of Lilee Jeans story. Kiss her for all of us that are not at her beside in person, but there in love , wish her a wonderful journey to the next part of her beautiful life. Hugs for you my dear girl. No mother should have to go through what you are. You are incredible. take care.

  6. MadelynMadelyn08-31-2013

    My words seem so small. You’re in our prayers.

  7. dewy raindewy rain08-31-2013

    My heart is breaking and my prayers are with you &
    your family. I am so sorry but heaven just recieved a powerful lil
    angel and I am so sorry

  8. ElaineElaine08-31-2013

    My heart is bleeding tears for you and your family.
    Lillee’s journey on earth will end and she will begin a new journey
    of watching over you from Heaven. Your journey will take you on a
    different path. Your blog writings have brought this little girl
    into so many lives, thousands of people weep with you and you are
    wrapped tightly in many arms. God Bless you all. May LJ remain pain
    free and may you continue to exude this incredible strength until
    she no longer needs it.

  9. kelsey bkelsey b08-31-2013

    you are so strong chelsey. lilees story breaks my heart everyday
    I know there are no words that can help, but know that there are so many people admiring your strength through this time. You have given her an amazing life, you are an amazing mother.
    you are all in my thoughts.
    much love for lilee.

  10. TrishaTrisha08-31-2013

    Prayers are with you and your family Chelsey. you have
    given her a life of love :)

  11. ShannonShannon08-31-2013

    As a mom myself of a toddler called leelee, I can not begin
    to understand the pain you,are enduring, nor grasp the strength it
    must take to walk this journey with such amazing grace. You leave
    me speechless as you teach me, as does Lilee what love is really
    all about, to soak up every second and to dance in the rain because
    we can. Peace be with you these coming days.i hope Lilee knows and
    feels the love we all are sending her.

  12. KaraKara08-31-2013

    Chels, I just want you to know I’ve been following every
    post, every entry. My heart is completely with you guys, and I
    think about you constantly. I am so proud of you, you are the
    strongest and best mother there is. You are so brave and so strong.
    I admire you. I am thinking of you always, baby girl. Sending only
    the most positive thoughts to you, Lilee, and Andrew/ xoxo, love
    you lots baby girl. Love Kara

  13. CyndiCyndi08-31-2013

    I have gone through this journey with a beautiful three year old girl but in the role of aunt. But i walked alongside her mother through her illness and was there in those final moments so have some idea of what you are going through but can never fully know. I am glad you are in such a great place and that she is peaceful as we didn’t get that benefit. Nothing can protect you from what you are about to go through but I hope the support of friends family and even strangers that have fallen in love with lilee through your blog (I was lucky enough to meet her at maureens pageant) helps you to feel less alone. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  14. LaurenLauren08-31-2013

    Chelsy, You and your family are so strong. Thank you for
    sharing Lilee’s story and allowing us to share in your journey. My
    thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. Give
    Lilee our love.

  15. CheriCheri08-31-2013

    I am so sorry for what you are going through with your
    daughter. As a mother to two young girls this is one of my own
    biggest fears.. Every time I read your updates my own tears start
    to fall. I may not know you or your family but I wish you well.
    There is nothing that I can say to make you feel better…but
    realize that we are all here with you, on your journey.. If I could
    take even just part of the pain away that your feeling and help
    share in this torture with you I would…. I just wish that
    children never had to go through this…

  16. KeriKeri08-31-2013

    I am praying for you and your little girl.

  17. CamiliaCamilia08-31-2013

    Chelsey,

    Your posts always bring me to tears. As a mother myself of a little 16 month old girl, I try to imagine what you are going through, but it’s impossible! I keep praying for a miracle, and I will never stop. I also pray for no more suffering. Both for you, Andrew and most of all Lilee Jean. LJ will always and forever be an inspiration. A story of bravery, passion, love and most of all LIFE! The smile on her face, the look in her eyes, is so full of beauty. I never had the chance to meet her or your family, but you have made such a huge impact on me and many others around the world. Thank you for sharing your journey and allowing us all to walk beside you. I hope that you find peace and strength from all of us through this very difficult time. And remember we are all here for you on the road ahead. Love to you all! ❤❤❤

  18. Gerry LovettGerry Lovett08-31-2013

    <3 <3 You’re in my prayers. <3
    <3

  19. HeidiHeidi08-31-2013

    Another stranger to you and your family, but yet another mother whose heart aches for you and yours. Your words are poetically honest and relatable. I’m inspired by your story, and I remember you and Lilee when I need to dig deep, or soak up all my blessings, live in constant gratitude. I carry wee Lilee with me on hikes and runs, her journey will carry on through the inspiration she has provided to even the random strangers out in cyberspace. xoxo

  20. KaraKara08-31-2013

    I have never met your family but your strength and courage are inspirational. I have spent many nights like you, holding my daughters hand, afraid to close my eyes, monitor watching, hoping my will would increase the numbers on the screen. For right now our life ticks on but I’m always aware that end of life care could be around the corner. My heart breaks for you and your family but I thank you for sharing your journey and Dancing in the Rain! I hope you can feel the thoughts and prayers of all the people your story has touched and that the love will help carry you in through this journey. The House is a beautiful place where I have felt the love, peace, and spirits of all who have passed through it…I hope your family feels it as well. Thinking and praying for you.

  21. HeidiHeidi08-31-2013

    My heart breaks as I read your words and I feel angry that any mom should feel your pain. It’s just not right. Babies shouldn’t get cancer moms and dads shouldn’t have to say good bye to their babies…..
    I wish you didn’t have to be so strong…. But your strength is so inspiring!

  22. Terry BegemannTerry Begemann08-31-2013

    Chelsy I have only recently been following the story of your beautiful little family and your little angel. I have to admit that that every word brings me to tears. I am keeping you all in my prayers.

  23. ComfortComfort08-31-2013

    I like to think it will transition you from being a mother of a toddler to being a mother of an angel. Thinking of you all continually.

  24. AshleyAshley08-31-2013

    I do not know you or your family. You are a beautiful person with a beautiful daughter. My thoughts are with your family and Lilee. She has an awful lot of love at her side. I hope her journey is peaceful and I wish for you the strength that you need.

    Lots of love

  25. Jennifer J.Jennifer J.08-31-2013

    Dear Chelsey……..I am a complete stranger but like many others have been following Lilee’s story through facebook and your blog……You have given me the strength daily to face my demons in life making me realize that life is short and to precious to take anything in it for granted……I believe that each and every one of us has a purpose in some shape or form…..and Lilees purpose in life is to show people the meaning of love, how short life can be and to not take anything for granted…her short time on this earth has shown people and taught people more important things than any teacher or professer might have in their entire career…this is my opinion. Furthermore I want to thank you and Lilee for showing me that love is the most important thing we have in this world……I wish you much strength in going through this and I want to wish Lilee neverending peace and mostly a miracle……..Lilee is one of the greatest and most purposful gifts anyone could recieve and your so lucky to be her mom…..xo……Love from Alberta

  26. DebbiDebbi08-31-2013

    My heart absolutely ACHES for all of you…..all I can do is tell you that you are ALL so loved, so deeply….you have touched my heart in so many ways. Peace, love & strength….. <3

  27. In your writing you express your love in words so well chosen. I am thinking of you and praying for strength for you and Andrew. So hard to let go when you have had her for such a short time, however you have made the most of the time that you were given. Chelsey, you should write a book as your writing is so moving and expressive. Write a book about your journey with Lilee-Jea, a book beyond the blogs.. And Andrew I hope that you will sing again and share your voice and soul with others. My fondest memory of Vancouver is listening to you sing in Grannville Island as I sat with my daughter and we both were connected by your music. Thoughts from Ontario. Morey

  28. TaraTara08-31-2013

    My heart aches for you. You are an amazing mother and so strong, She is such a beautiful little girl My thoughts and prayers are with you everyday <3

  29. WendieWendie08-31-2013

    Chelsey – there are just no words, but so many of us commenting here are mothers and I know we all feel the pain to some degree you are going through. We all translate your situation into “what if that was me”?? And to be honest your Lilee has been here a short time on this earth but what she is going through I can attest has brought us all closer with our toddlers! Each blog I read of yours makes me grab my little one closer, snuggle closer, listen better, be more patient, more attentive, and general I feel like this has caused me to be a better mom. I need to thank you and your Lilee for that! This has been a very rough year for us and I have not been the BEST mom – I feel I am impatient at times, and not spent the quality time I would like to with my daughter. Lilee has reminded me of how short life can be and how silly little issues of the day mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. I don’t know you Chelsey – but I have cried with you and my heart breaks for you. The only thing I know that can give you hope is where your daughter will be when she leaves this space. She will be renewed, she will be healthy and in no more pain, and you WILL one day see her again. This is your hope, hang on to that.

    Revelation 21:4 – And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

    Matthew 5:4 – Blessed [are] they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

    2 Timothy 4:7 – I have fought a good fight, I have finished [my] course, I have kept the faith:

    1 Corinthians 15:22 – For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.

    1 Corinthians 2:9 – But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

    1 Thessalonians 4:14-17 – For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.

    Psalms Chapter 23
    1 (A Psalm of David.) The LORD [is] my shepherd; I shall not want.

    2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

    3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

    4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

    5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

    6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

    Chelsey may you be blessed be comforted in knowing we are all praying for you and your family. Have peace in knowing where your little one will be going. Take it as joy she will be going to be with Jesus, and although we mourn because we are left behind, it is only for now – you will see her again, and hold her again.

    God bless you

  30. PenPen08-31-2013

    My heart breaks for all of you Chelsey. . I cannot begin to imagine the pain you are enduring. You have a strength that is unbelievable..and it will carry you through this and the rest of your life. I don’t believe in God due to having lost my first grandson senselessly…but I do believe things happen for a reason…not always understood now. Hold onto Andrew and know she will always be with you.

  31. TT08-31-2013

    Know that sweet Lilee-Jean is your miracle. Know that your prayers were answered. That every moment with her was and is the miracle. That someone so amazing, beautiful, inspirational and heroic chose you to guide her through her life. Although nothing make sense right now just try and take comfort in knowing that only our bodies leave us in death. They really are just our hosts in life and that our souls are who we are. And that our souls always live on….
    She is your miracle and will her soul will always be there carried in your heart, although she may not always be in front of you, her soul will always be with you.

    sending you love, light and peace.

  32. Kim DuffyKim Duffy08-31-2013

    You are doing everything you can do Chelsey. Soak up every second with her letting her know how loved and cherished she is. I know Celia is waiting patiently to show her the way around heaven. She will also be loved and cherished there. Love and hugs to you and Lilee

  33. sharonsharon08-31-2013

    I have tried to type something inspirational…..there are no words. I can’t pretend to know your pain…but you have shared so much of your beautiful daughter and how this journey/roller coaster ride has been, I can only imagine. You are truly an amazing Mom….and your beautiful daughter is in my prayers daily. <3 to ALL of you

  34. faye torcomfaye torcom08-31-2013

    WIth my face in my hands, I weep after reading your post – I always do. I have a 2yo son and trying to imagine your pain makes my heart pound and the tears pour. There are no words to take the pain away but my heart is breaking for you. LJ has touched so many and you are so inspiring. Hold on and know that you have done everything possible to not only save your daughter but to make her life memorable, fun and exciting… all the fun stuff kids live for. you are beautiful and LJ is your angel.

  35. Gayleen ElliottGayleen Elliott08-31-2013

    Chelsey, I have followed Lilee’s journey from the start. My heart is so broken for you all. Lilee is an amazing baby girl because she has amazing parents. Take this time to just look at that little one and understand she has known nothing but love. My heart goes out to you all, Much love and many prayers sent your way Gayleen

  36. ShaughnaShaughna08-31-2013

    Dear Chelsey: What a beautiful mother you are……………your writing is so beautiful, how you express your feelings is awesome. The pain that you are going through I cannot even imagine. My heart hurt as I was reading your words, and the tears flowed feeling your feelings through your words. I have come to appreciate, through your posts and what you are going through, how much we should appreciate every moment of life that we have. I am a mother of two, and grandmother of two, and it makes me stop and think – to remember, not to sweat the small stuff. Life is too short and we need to focus on being the best parents, grandparents that we can possibly be. You certainly can have peace and comfort in knowing that you have been the best mother you could ever be to your beautiful, precious Lilee. Oh how, everyone of us out here, wish that we could take your excruitating pain from you. You are a beautiful woman, and your daughter Lilee is a beautiful extension of her mommy. You are always in my heart, thoughts and prayers. Love, hugs and kisses to Lilee bean……………….

  37. TT08-31-2013

    I cry every time I read your posts; your reality is surreal.

  38. Nicole EasyNicole Easy08-31-2013

    Chelsey you are a beautiful loving mother.. Your words are so poetic. . Thank you for sharing this and everything you share. Lj is in all of us and we are always thinking of you guys every waking minute.. xo

  39. SherSher08-31-2013

    and more I understand how difficult it is to hold back the tears so your child doesn’t see them. You are such a strong and amazing woman. We are all holding you tight from afar we are sending you love and prayers. We are trying to somehow ease your burden all the while knowing we have no power to ease your pain. We only wish we could. One day you will join Lilee Bean in heaven. God needs this special angel now but your work here is not done. But one day you will reunite. Sending more holding you tight

    • SherSher08-31-2013

      my message started with hugs and more hugs and ended with sending more hugs and holding you tight.

  40. Natalie AnthonyNatalie Anthony08-31-2013

    There are no words to express how heart-broken I am, for what you and your family are going through. You are a strong women and it brings some comfort to know that your beautiful little daughter has her loving mother by her side, holding her hand. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you Chelsea. I’m so sorry. Its not fair. I am praying for you.

  41. Sarah SheffieldSarah Sheffield08-31-2013

    Dear Chelsey,

    One year ago today I lost my Mum to this awful disease. I sat by her bedside for days leading up to her final moment. I held her hand for the last time, kissed her lips for the last time and watched her take her final breath. It changed me forever. I read your words and can only barely imagine your pain. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to my Mum, but that’s the natural course of life, our parents are supposed to go before us. For a parent to lose a child is unthinkable. I look at the picture of your little angel and my heart breaks for you. I have a little girl and she is my world. You are so strong and brave and your love for Lilee is so pure and perfect. I don’t know you, your family or your precious girl, but as I remember my Mum today and the pain of losing her, a part of my heart is with you and Lilee. Thank you for sharing your angel with us. She has touched so many people without even knowing them. She is a gift.

    With love and prayers,
    Sarah

  42. BCBC08-31-2013

    Hi, Your daughter is beautiful and you are a strong woman! I don’t know you or your family but I have read your stories and followed your posts as many of my friends know your family. It is too heartbreaking to comprehend, I’m sorry for your situation, I wish I had words to say all the things you need to hear…….to help you deal……I’m glad you guys have made Lilee’s life so full…of everything!
    Sincerely
    Becci Corder

  43. Nicole GiguereNicole Giguere08-31-2013

    Oh how my heart aches for you. Im a friend of chelsey and glendons, i have read ur blogs and followed u through this time in your life. Your strength through this is amazing, i pray for u all everyday, love for u all, give lilee a big hug and tell her the world loves her!

  44. SamanthaSamantha08-31-2013

    *Hugs* I cant even imagine! In my thoughts,prayers and heart always !!!

  45. PaulinePauline08-31-2013

    My thoughts and prayers to you & your family during this difficult time.

  46. Rosemary S.Rosemary S.08-31-2013

    I wish I knew exactly what to say………but, I can’t think of even one word that’s appropriate! You are all in my thoughts and prayers…..

  47. SannaSanna08-31-2013

    She is just so beautiful.

  48. ArlissArliss08-31-2013

    As a mother of two boys I can’t even imagine what you and your family is going through.You are an amazing mother.I have been following your posts and think of you and your little girl often.Your daughter is an angel and when she enters heaven she is going to be pain free and happy.You and LJ will always be together.xoxo

  49. Cynthia FisherCynthia Fisher08-31-2013

    Dearest Chelsea and Andrew, Thank you for allowing me to
    visit with you on Wednesday. It was very special to me, and I thank
    you for allowing me to see you and your little angel. It meant so
    much to me to be able to hug you and let you know how very much you
    are loved and supported by me and by everyone else who has been
    there for you guys. I too was right where you were many years ago
    when I had to say goodbye to my Jeremy. I know that ache in your
    heart you speak of. I know the feeling of panic and dread and
    profound sadness that cannot be explained. The feeling of being in
    a bad dream. And wanting so badly to wake up and find out this is
    all just a dream and everything is okay. My heart is breaking in
    two for you guys! I am once again whisked back to 21 years ago when
    I had to say goodbye to Jeremy. I sat there holding him and the
    door to his room was heavy. It had to be pushed open by a person to
    get in. Then, out of the corner of my eye, i saw the door open all
    on its own. I felt the warmth of someone standing behind me. I
    turned around to see who is was. And no one was there, yet i felt a
    presense. Jeremy was gone. I knew then it was his angel here to
    take him to Heaven. Believe me when i say, there are angels and a
    Heaven. I know from what happened there is. And I know he is there
    waiting for me. And your Lilee will see him there too. My entire
    heart and sould weeps for you and is there with you. Many prayers
    and hugs go out to you, and I am always here to help you in any way
    i can. Even though we just met, I am there. xxoo

  50. ElayneElayne09-01-2013

    Chelsey,
    like everyone else says….you are one amazing young woman & Mother…..Lj will never be alone or in pain and that is such a awesome thing to know.. that she will always be with God and she will be the “wind beneath your wings” you, lj , Andrew and your family are in all our thoughts and prayers and we know that GOD will give you peace, comfort and strength when you need it the most.

  51. Cheryl FoortCheryl Foort09-01-2013

    Chelsea i have been following Love for Lillee since the
    beginning and your story has affected me in so many ways. I
    remember being in this same exact position 3 yrs ago. After my
    daughter was diagnosed with damn Glioblastoma she encountered
    several surgeries and 4 rounds of chemo, just to be told after the
    last MRI, were so sorry, we have done everything we can, the cancer
    will take her….. But we strongly recommend you go to Canuck
    Place. I was so angry, and beaten i thought all i want is home, in
    Kelowna. But we went. We stayed for 1 month and that place forever
    changed me. I swear some of the nurses are angels, and i probly
    would’ve starved had there not been hot delicious meals provided.
    And the kinship beetween these other people battling everyday in a
    war they cannot win. Chelsea, as i think of u and Lillee and your
    whole family, i feel your pain. I cry with you. Sometimes reading
    your blogs i cant breathe with you. All of the sayings…. ” what
    dosnt kill u makes u stronger”. ” god wouldnt give you anything u
    cant handle”. These things r said by people who have never been
    where u are. I cant tell u to be strong, or brave or whatever the
    hell your supposed to be. Just be there for Lillee. Which i know
    you are. I know you are cause I’ve been there and there is simply
    no other place you could be. As for Lillee, she is an angel here on
    earth, and when she goes back home she will be the comfort of so
    many others dealing with this awful thing called childhood cancer.
    They will get to go play in heaven with Lillee. My heart is with u
    Chelsea, from one Mom to another.You are amazing.

  52. Hope SHope S09-01-2013

    Lilee is so beautiful. Thanks for sharing. Stay strong
    sending lots of hugs for your family

  53. Lori KLori K09-01-2013

    I remember seeing your family at the hockey game, right after the release of the song written to raise money for the hospital and thinking to myself – how can such a beautiful little girl be so sick. I couldn’t comprehend.

    I know my prayers won’t help her get better, but I hope my prayers will give you the strength to move forward. There will be many tears, but please remember to take a step forward. Everyday. Take that step forward. I know your grief will be overwhelming, but each step forward – you can live a life that Lille won’t be able to.

  54. Prayforyou.Prayforyou.09-01-2013

    Chelsey, I have followed your daughter Lilee’s journey since last January. I’ve read every update, viewed every beautiful picture, and prayed each and every time for her recovery. As I read this latest blog entry of yours, my heart breaks for you…and I realize that there are no words to lessen your pain.. I just want to say thank you, from one mother to another, for so openly sharing your story. Lilee has touched more lives in her short years than most people do in a lifetime. What an amazing gift God gave us all. I will pray for LJ again tonight and I will also pray for her beautiful courageous mum who let the world know her little girl. Thank you.
    ..and you can bet that the next thunderstorm that hits the mainland, we will all do our dance for Lilee Jean. :)

  55. Brandi BartelBrandi Bartel09-01-2013

    Chelsea, I just wanted to take the time to send you some love, and some strength. I carry you and Lilee in my heart every day.You are not alone, although I am sure at times it may feel like it. We are all behind you.

  56. ChristineChristine09-01-2013

    I am so sorry for this pain you must all endure! You have this amazing strength to be able to come to terms with your daughters illness and fate! You were meant to be her mother, to get her through this, god believed in you, knew you were strong enough for Lilee! God Bless you and your family, I pray that you are holding her hand when she leaves this world and that she goes as peacefully as she seems in the above picture <3 You are an inspiration to all mothers!!! You will always be Lilee's mother, no matter how broken you feel, she will leave this world, having left the strongest most loving mother behind! xo

  57. HeatherHeather09-01-2013

    well were do i begin….. when i saw her in costco i wanted to scoop her up but i figgerd that would scare her and u so i held my erge. i have 2 children myself & i cant even imagin or begin to understand what your going through. my hart gose out to to u and your family. my next MRI is in 3 weeksbut as of the last one my tomer is growinng agen. agen all my love gose out to u.

  58. Tracey RoachTracey Roach09-01-2013

    I have been following your amazing story. While it is a sad and devestating story I feel you are such a strong and amazing mother and woman. I read your blog and my heart aches and I cry uncontrolably with every word I read. I am amazed by your strength and selflessness. I am a mother of 4 beautiful children and I can’t fathom how paknful this must be. Your daughter is so strong and amazing. I can imagine she has taught you so much in the short time she has blessed your lives. I know her time left on this earth us coming to an end. I believe she picked you and your husband to be her parents and she picked the best. She was here for such a short time but taught so many a life time of lessons. Soon she will have her wings and be forever with our heavenly father. She will be watching over you. My thoughts and prayers are with you your husband and your sweet Angel Lilee.

  59. TiborTibor09-01-2013

    Hello Chelsea
    I admire you strength and your wisdom .

  60. WalterineWalterine09-01-2013

    There are no words to back this better. You are a wonderful mother to have done the things you have done for your sweet baby girl. Reading your story tonight has made me sit with my son in the rocking chair. Snuggling him extra instead of putting him in his crib to sleep like I know I should. You have shown me to slow down and soak up those extra moments. Who cares if the dishes are dirty and the laundry needs to be done.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. I cannot imagine how you feel or begin to. I hope you find comfort. Give sweet Lilee a kiss from me and my boy.

  61. DenyseDenyse09-01-2013

    Dear Lilee You are a inspiration to everyone’s hearts you have touched I pray for you and your mommy and daddy you brought them joy and happiness your smile your presence will
    Always be remembered ! I have followed your story and it makes me very sad and my heart aches for you no child deserves to go through all you have been through You are a very brave little girl. Who is well loved and is being guarded by god through it all we have been all blessed to have had some part of you in our Lives Thank you for that !! God bless

  62. Cheryl Lewis-ReitzCheryl Lewis-Reitz09-01-2013

    I have been feeling your joy and pain every step of this journey and your way with words speak to everything I felt when I went through it 27 years ago. The last 3 months of my beloved daughter Velvet’s short 6 year life was at home with us but now in a coma. My late husband and I spent each night taking turns sleeping with her and like you, I couldn’t get close enough or hold on tight enough. She would stop breathing and it would immediately wake me up and I would suction her lungs to clear them and she would begin breathing once again. As the early morning hours approached on that last day, she struggled to hold onto life. My husband and I were in denial that she was actually taking her last breaths as so many times she would come back to us. Lilee’s journey may be almost over but what a wonderful life you have given her. Just like Velvet, she crammed a lot of living in her time here. I found these special children are beyond their years in wisdom and God will take good care of them until we can join them. I have to believe there is a heaven as I couldn’t live any other way.

  63. A Mother like youA Mother like you09-01-2013

    This should not be possible. It isn’t fair and you should not have to say goodbye to that little girl. I am heartbroken for you.

  64. Jackie GartnerJackie Gartner09-01-2013

    All I can say today is ((((HUGS))))) for no words will help or ease what is before you. Thank you for sharing your journey for truly your little angel has touched my heart yet I have never met you. Hugs Jackie

  65. DawnDawn09-02-2013

    I’m so sorry that your family is going through this, that
    your sweet little daughter is leaving this earth far too
    soon.

  66. Cathy HutchinsonCathy Hutchinson09-02-2013

    Hello Chelsey, Thank you for sharing your journey with
    Lilee. Please know that there are thousands of us offering prayers
    for peace. The universe resonates with the joy and love for Lilee.
    Hugs and love. xo

  67. DarleneDarlene09-02-2013

    Such a beautiful child….can only thank you for sharing
    her with us.

  68. BethanyBethany09-02-2013

    I am still hoping for a miracle. Where there is life, there is hope! I am so happy you shared her with us, and she will never be alone in spirit or in life.

  69. DaveDave09-03-2013

    Hey Chelsey, I was forwarded your story from Kayla Adams. I have no words but to say that my heart is broken. We have 5 boys and through our journey with our twins there came many points where we didn’t know if they would live or die…by God’s grace they’re in kindergarten this fall…I can’t say I fully understand why God allowed this to happen in your life…in Lilee’s life…and why He allowed our twins to live…for what it’s worth, your story is helping shape my life as a dad…your story…Lilee’s story is and will shape how many will view their lives…but for now…I’m brokenhearted with you…no one deserves this…no one really understands…thanks for letting me into your story…I shall continue to pray for you guys…for continued peace that passes any and all understanding and for a God-sized perspective of how Lilee and your stories will change people…because I believe it has and will continue to…

  70. PaulaPaula09-04-2013

    As I read the comments I think much of what I need or want to say has already been said, and very eloquently. Parents grieve with you. We can’t grasp your pain -unless we’ve been there – and we can only imagine how unnatural all this is. I think of Lilee as I kiss my 4 year old goodnight now.
    I can’t quote scripture like some people can, but I picked up a prayer book – the ones at the back of some churches – and I randomly opened a page with you and Lilee in mind, seeking something to say to you.
    This was the line on the page I opened: Jesus said, “I go and prepare a place for you.” I thought of your beautiful daughter leaving this world and going to the next, and the warmth of this new place. I also thought of “a place for you” and your family here on earth. I hope that place that is prepared gives you comfort and strength until you see her again. I know it will.
    No, I’m not well versed enough to say why this is allowed to happen. I’ve seen loved ones suffer too and struggle to ask why. But I can pray for you all. I have seen the power of prayer work, so God bless you on this hard road.

  71. Baraa Safaa AliBaraa Safaa Ali09-04-2013

    You are just an incredible human being. You have put my life into perspective.
    God bless you

  72. MaggieMaggie09-04-2013

    All I can really say is that I’m sorry this is happening to you and your family..

    I have been praying for a miracle and won’t stop..

    She is such a little beauty and you are such a strong mother and together an inspiration to everyone..

    My heart aches for you, Andrew and your entire family..

    If there is anything I can do for you or your family please let me know..

    Sending you lots of love, good thoughts and big hugs!

  73. deborah rdeborah r09-04-2013

    Our thoughts and prayers are sent to your family

  74. JesseJesse09-04-2013

    Your family has been and will continue to be in my prayers. My heart hurts terribly for what your family is going through. I can only hope that knowing God is holding Lilee in his hands and that he is with you all provides some comfort and peace during this difficult time. God Bless.

  75. LesleyLesley09-05-2013

    I cannot begin to understand the pain that you are going through. As a mother, my heart is breaking for you and Andrew. Although I do not know you, I feel I do.

    God Bless your sweet little Lilee…I have been and will continue to pray for her. xo

  76. MarcieMarcie09-05-2013

    Your writings are from your heart and so poignant as you share the pain of a Mother’s Love being defied by the universe. Hope is the magic that make dreams come true…may each day that you share with your precious daughter fill your heart with Hope and Joy. When there is pain and despair, may you hold on tight to an Angels wing and soar to unthinkable heights where there is peace for all whose hearts are saddened…may you also find comfort in the smile and fond memories of Lilee and all that she has taught you by her ever loving presence.
    May God hold you in the palm of his hand….my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.
    Warm Blessings from the depth of our hearts <3

  77. lizliz09-05-2013

    There’s nothing I can say to comfort you but know that
    there are so many thousands of people standing shoulder to shoulder
    with you, lifting you up in our prayers. Our hearts are breaking
    with you and for you. Sending you so much love all the way from
    England xx

  78. JennJenn09-06-2013

    I am not the praying type. But I sent a prayer to the powers that be(whomever that may be) for your family. Peace.

  79. LL09-06-2013

    I am touched to the very depths of my being by your words. No truer love for a person, than a mother for her child. I don’t know what else could be written, that hasn’t been said, our thoughts are with you from the USA. L

  80. LaraLara09-07-2013

    i too dont know you or your family but as a mom of two girls under 28 months the tears stream down my face reading your blogs. the amazing love you show for your little girl is amazing. halloween and christmas in August and your precious words just melt my heart. sending love and strength to you and your family during is brutally hard time. *hugs*

  81. Barbara WaltonBarbara Walton09-07-2013

    There are no words to convey how deeply your words touched me.I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling tonight as your beautiful Lilee has become one of heaven’s angels.God bless you all and know that all of our prayers continue.

  82. Caitlyn JonesCaitlyn Jones09-07-2013

    I am so sorry, I just don’t understand this world. Please
    remember it is ok to hurt and you don’t have to be fine. She
    doesn’t even look sick, just sleepy. So pretty. Time will make
    things better but never the same.

  83. TaraTara09-07-2013

    My heart is absolutely broken for you. I “slept” in my sons room last night, which I don’t normally do. By “slept” I mean did not sleep at all. I could only think of you wishing I could do/say something to help take even 1% of your pain away. We’ve never met – and probably never will! But believe me, if you can think of one thing I can do to lift the pain please tell me because I will do it.
    Your writing(s) have been beautiful (too beautiful – I couldn’t get thru one without crying and thinking about it for the next 3 days!).
    Wishing you peace – whatever that means – and will be thinking about you, LJ and your families.
    xoxoxox

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Thank you all so much for your prayers, good wishes and support. It is so beautiful to see how loved this little girl is.